Jan 2, 2006

Dropping Like Flies

In the past 5 days there have been 3 homicides in our city.  Now, contrary to popular opinion, having lots of people die violently in your town is NOT good for business.  Sure, all of us detectives will be getting extra overtime in our checks; and the Coroner is going have to buy more rubber gloves for the autopsies; oh ya, the funeral homes will have extra business... but generally it’s bad. 

The first thing it’s bad for is marriage; with all of the 16-hour days, I don’t see my wife much; when I do come home, she’s asleep and I reactively outline her with chalk.  Next, it's bad for my diet; one night the Captain ordered out for pizza, which I can usually resist; however, for murder number two, it was catered Thai food; so the diet went down in flames, killed by some delicious curry chicken.  Finally, it’s bad on the sleep pattern: at about 2:30 am this morning, a bunch of loopy detectives (me included) watched the security monitor where Detective Jim was interrogating the murder suspect; due to sleep deprivation, all we could think about was how funny it was that the camera angle really showed Jim’s bald spot.  It was getting to Jim as well; 2 hours into the interview he was saying to the suspect repeatedly, “Tell me everything you don’t know!” 

Well, I’m three major reports behind, and I got another autopsy to watch tomorrow.  Hopefully the killing will stop long enough to:

1) Kiss my wife.

2) Lose some weight.

3) Get some sleep.

Good night....


bgilmore725 said...

Those sounded like new year resolutions, Dave! I hope things get better, or lighten up, quiets down... whatever it takes so you can do those things a few times a week at least! Happy New year to you and your family. Bea

buggieboo1 said...

We had 2  shooting in 2 weeks here in our town one making national news killing a mom and dad, by their daughters boyfriend! The one the week before was a young man shot by police after he shot at a police.
People are going nuts every where~

Happy New Year!

This Momma's drama

lifesabench6 said...

Hey Dave.  I'm new here, but I got the point with this entry.  You know, I always hope that someday police, detectives and prison wardens will be all out of a job!  Sorry- but I bet you could find something else with better hours, better pay and more time at home!  If you are anything like other police ( I have a cousin who's a cop in Houston) that I know, you love your job- but would happily be glad to see the day when you're not needed for it!  Take care and God bless!  Carolyn

applesinsnow said...

" I don’t see my wife much; when I do come home, she’s asleep and I reactively outline her with chalk."  

 Sorry,  I know you're serious here, but I can't help it,... I'm screaming with laughter.
 Reminded me  of times in years past when  hubby thought he was going to get lucky... and turned out I was checking his femoral pulse in my sleep, a habit I picked up in  the Emergency room.

 Sleep deprivation  and  work habits  sometimes don't mix.  Thanks for an interesting read and fun memories.                                                      Abby

lurkynat said...

Ah! I hope you get to do those good things again soon too!

psychfun said...

Thanks for the laugh...getting over a horrific migraine...I think...and that really helped! I love those emails that have all the real goofs by lawyers, officers etc. There are days like that teaching. My favorite is "I was absent, did we do anything important in class" NOPE, we just wasted our time! I too wish one day we would have no need for officers. Now see if Sylvia Brown was so great why doesn't she go work as a "Precog". Caught her & 2 others on Larry King...they were just pathetic! Hey just looking at the list...you know depending on how you combine them you could get all three done together! HA! Sweet Dreams!

ally123130585918 said...

Hi Krissy - Dave - on such a serious subject you've done it again, I couldn't help laughing - I realise it's not good for business having 3 homicides in 5 days - except for those that  sell rubber gloves, and not forgetting the extra cash in pay cheques.....but as you instinctively outline the wife with chalk, (hahaha) and can't resist Thai food - I can see this is getting to you. and as for Poor Detective Jim having the camera angled on his bald spot for two hours - just think what this is doing for his ego..(he probably didn't realise he even had a bald spot until he watched the play back)..lol....Hope the suspect told him everything he didn't know.hahaha......Hope the killing stops long enough so you get to kiss the wife.  lose some weight.  get some sleep
and keep fit for the next autopsy you have to watch...Keep safe...Ally

njmom72 said...

You have the acute talent of taking something that is normally somber and making it positively hilarious! Hope you get a break soon, Dave. Happy New Year to you and your family! :-)

~ Susan

dawngepfer said...

Great entry - love reading you!

zosche973 said...

Love your journal! 'Outline her in chalk'! LOL ~Diane~

dragonrose3911 said...

Do you seriously outline her in chalk??? lol. Hope you can get back on your diet...and good luck with the murders to stop.. :D We know you need sleep... :(

screaminremo303 said...

I learned two things from working homicides:

1.Any overtime amount over ten hours gets eaten by Uncle Sam

2. Always draw the chalk outline of your wife two sizes smaller. It makes her feel better.

jevanslink said...

I can't stop laughing long enough to write anything. Okay okay, deep breath. The chalk thing gives new meaning to "Does my butt look fat?"  Mrs. L

mumma4evr said...

do you see any of that over-time or does Uncle Sam see it?

mumma4evr said...

do you see any of that over-time or does Uncle Sam see it?

sunnyside46 said...

lovin you outlining her body with chalk