Mar 12, 2009

Death by Weird

Yakima County is a weird place.

People don't seem to JUST die here, they have to go in weird ways and/or circumstances. Take for instance my last autopsy: healthy (other than having assumed room temperature) old guy turns up dead in his house. Pathologist opens up his stomach and finds it full of anti-freeze, which had almost disinigrated his innards. Turns out the old guy had his gardener buy him a gallon of Prestone a week before, the gardener thought it was odd cause the guy didn't have a car. Most people just shoot themselves, or at least give themselves a nice hanging... But anti-freeze??? Weird.

Not too long ago, had my 3rd auto-erotic asphyxiation death; and no, I won't explain it to you here... just Google it, but make sure your porn filter is off.

Then I was at an autopsy for a victim of a drive-by gang shooting, and the pathologist remarked on the very detailed, full sized tattoo of a nude female on this guy's back; he asked, "Why would he (the dead guy) put that where he can't see it?" I told the doc, "Cause it wasn't for him, it was for his cell mate."


I can take all the weirdness, I just can't get used to the smell.

Mar 7, 2009

The case SUCKS.... get it?

I was sitting in my little jungle U-bickle yesterday, trying to figgur out a new "Tablet" computer that they (the city fathers) decided that I needed. It is cute, and does all sorts of stuff like... well... I'm sure I'll find out when I get the darn thing to turn on.

Anywho, (wait... did I plagiarize that from Remo or Ron Paul? heh heh)

I could hear, way over in Property Crimes some heavy snickering. Thought maybe Crazy Nate had Utube on, so I sauntered over. Everyone was around Crazy Nate's L-bickle (their desks are smaller) listening to him read a theft report.

Seems some kid had just rolled into town and was going to try his hand at selling Kirby vacuums in the "Palm Springs of Washington." He was well into his pitch when he takes the mark's old vacuum and uses it on an area of carpet, then brings out the Kirby and vacuums the same area. The result is as expected; the Kirby picked up soooo much more dirt that the mark's Dyson (a decent $250.00 vacuum) that the salesman takes the Dyson, wheels it outside to the mark's front porch and says, "Let's just leave this piece of junk out here, it's such a crummy vacuum, no one would even steal it!"

You guessed it, within 5 minutes someone stole it.
Now the Kirby guy is down at the Dyson retailer buying a vacuum. It seems the mark did not want $250 off of a Kirby.

While making a report, the Kirby guy asked, "Is it unusual for this kind of thing to happen here?" Yes, as a matter of fact it was unusual for the Kirby guy to make good on replacing the vacuum, you don't see that kind of integrity every day.