Jan 22, 2006

Back to Work

Well, 7 days in the Caribbean and I did not see a dead body; I was truly on vacation. 

However... Just a few thoughts I’d like to share:

First, it was discovered quickly that my wife and I are well below the average age of most of the other passengers.  Looking around us as we walked the decks, I felt as if we had been transported to a nursing home, complete with plenty of wheelchairs and racks of chilled prune juice.  The Mrs. and I took a shore excursion, where our tour group had to walk up a steep hill; I considered the average age of those on the tour with us and wondered how many of these people I would have to give mouth-to-mouth to at the same time.  Luckily, everyone was up to date with their medications and/or had their O2 bottles recently filled, so I did not have to challenge my perfect (perfectly dismal) record at CPR: 0 and 3. 

Next, used car dealers in the U S of A have nothing on the hucksters in Jamaica.  I was walking through an area of “Native Handicrafts,” (i.e. cheap wooden figures of some volcano god, manufactured in China) when this young man came up to me and started talking in that smooth, Jamaican accent about friendship and love and “No problem mon”.  The next few moments were sort of fuzzy, but ended with my last 5 bucks slipping into this young man’s hands as I was holding some wooden figurine that I normally would not have let my dog chew on.  Perhaps with some counseling and hypnotism, I can recall the exact chain of how that all happened. 

Then there is the food.  It seemed that the cooks, crew and staff here were paid by how many pounds of food they could shove into passengers during the week.  Now understand, the food was good, although a lot of it I could not even pronounce; muesli, florintine trattoria, veil au poivre; and by the way... "Pearls of the Sea" is just a fancy name for stinkin' fish eggs.   Thank goodness, there were areas on the ship where we could avoid all the foreign stuff and get some good old, back home American food, like: lasagna, nachos, fried rice, fish ‘n chips, latte’ with biscotti, and of course, shrimp sushi. 

Lastly, this cruise has helped me to correct a gross misunderstanding.  I foolishly thought that people who could afford a cruise would not be stupid; how wrong I was.  This morning I heard one of my fellow passengers ask, “Do you think the workers live on the ship?”  Maybe she saw a submarine, filled with bunks, following the ship that I somehow missed.  A cruise line’s employee told me of the following questions, which were actually asked of her by passengers: “Is that island completely surrounded by water?”  “What’s our present elevation?”  “Does this elevator go to the front of the ship, or the back?”  “Is the ship’s television satellite or cable?”  It seems that some cruise passengers are the same as everyone else, pretty dense... and of course I am NOT talking about any of my readers!

Well, it’s back to work for me, thanks for reading,

Dave

16 comments:

zosche973 said...

LOL love the dumb questions! Thanx for sharing.~Diane~

buggieboo1 said...

maybe they watch to much love  boat?
Sharon
http://journals.aol.com/buggieboo1/ThisMommasDrama/


shayshaydc said...

Glad you are back!!! Monday is so much harder to go back to work after a week's vacation!!! Glad your cruise was a success!!! By the way I got that dispatchers job I told you about in an earlier journal entry!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

yakima127 said...

Glad to have yo back!  Hope you're all rested up.  And as far as dense goes, if you've ever read my journal, you'll see I have some of those same qualities as those passengers!  I have asked some pretty stupid questions in my life!  I should walk around with a sign around my neck that reads, "Duh".  I have also passed this trait on to my baby girl!  We should both die our hair blonde so people will understand...JAE

tlgf1968 said...

some "good old, back home American food," eh?  got a good laugh from that one -- welcome back!!~  :0)

psychfun said...

Thanks for the laughs! Glad you had a good time!

What the heck were you doing on an older folks cruise? The misses making sure there were no babes in bikinis to distract ya? Or maybe she was worried since you lost all that weight that they would be all over you. Ya, sure she is confident but still not fun just waiting for your man to say no. I suppose it could be good so many think YOUR man is hot though! HA! Any of the older babes still trying! HA!

Oh those stupid cheap gifts are all you need to bring back the memories. It will be a fond memory later!

Oh No...are they going to make you weigh in when you go back to work tomorrow?

Oh Bill Engvall can tell you there are everywhere..."Here's your sign!" And wait a second you thought people who have money are not stupid? Are you kidding me?

lv2trnscrb said...

just starting to follow your journal; seems like the cruise went well. Never been on one but hope to some day soon before I reach the average age you were mentioning.

betty

lifesabench6 said...

Heeerree's your sign.  Oh well, sounds like you had a good time inspite of stupid questions.  I've never been on one.  Everyone I know who has- has either been sea sick half the time, or got sick a day after they came back.  Take care back to work- Carolyn

mastersblynn said...

Sounds like you had fun!  Glad to see that other people actually do this kind of thing.  My husband is adjoined to the hip to this little town.  It's like pulling teerh just to get him to take me to Wal Mart.  Go You! Barbara

ally123130585918 said...

Dave thanks for the laughs, your trip sounded great....No piracy on the high seas,  no dead bodies (must have been a bore for you) lol
Can't get over that chappie actually selling you a figurine - Maybe it was too much Sunshine or too much food that lulled you into parting with your money...(Book that counselling before it happens again)...Ally

demandnlilchit said...

sounds like good times! I'm off for Jamaica in July for my oldest daughters wedding.......sun, sand and pretty lil pink drinks with tiny umbrellas! I can hear the ocean now mon! lol

lurkynat said...

how funny! you didnt mention the name of teh line! I hope you two had fun anyway! hugs,nat

jevanslink said...

Seven days in the Caribbean and you didn't see a dead body?  Sounds like you were surrounded by them.  Mrs. L

dragonrose3911 said...

welcome back. glad u had a good time, and no dead bodies...:)
Felicia

screaminremo303 said...

No cornrows? No braids?

...and you call yourself a tourist.

Welcome home.

mllevl said...

Found my way here via Ally.....haven't laughed so much for ages........can't see to type.!!  Great stuff.  Eve