You all know how much I try to keep this blog clean, and not depend on “potty humor” to entertain. However, this time it’s not about the humor, it’s about a decline in the very fabric of our culture.
As proud Americans (and a few proud Brits), we all want to have fresh, blue-tinted water in the head (or “loo” for those on the east side of the pond). This is all about to change, and it’s the fault of the environmentalists. That’s right; those people who are taking away our Hummers and making us scrounge through our trash like starving rats in order to “Recycle”.
Case in point: I was returning from teaching a sniper school a week or so ago (you can still do that with a shoulder injury) when I stopped for lunch. Having eaten junk food during the entire week of field instruction, my… er… well, let’s just say that the train was finally moving and it was full. I went to the one and only restroom in the business; completed the task, and then went to flush.
There was a sign over the toilet that said, “Environmentally Friendly” and in small print added, “The least water per flush” (not sure if that was a boast or a warning). I pulled the lever; there was the sound like that of a mouse sneezing, and nothing much happened. The contents of the bowl did not go down the drain as is usual. If anything, the “flush” (if you could call it that) just made it angry. Then there was a knock at the door, the only other customer in the place wanted in. I pulled the lever again; nothing happened. Evidently the thing had to recharge; and there I was, in this bathroom pushing the lever like I was trying to start a Sopwith Camel. I ended up running the sink for about 5 minutes until the toilet had enough pressure to make another attempt. I washed my hands and ran out without looking at the result.
I have found the reason behind all the violence associated with eco-terrorism: all of the hemp-wearing granola-crunchers installed these things in their apartments… it would make me want to blow up something as well.