Nov 3, 2006

Declining Times

     You all know how much I try to keep this blog clean, and not  depend on “potty humor” to entertain.  However, this time it’s not about the humor, it’s about a decline in the very fabric of our culture.  

 

     As proud Americans (and a few proud Brits), we all want to have fresh, blue-tinted water in the head (or “loo” for those on the east side of the pond).  This is all about to change, and it’s the fault of the environmentalists.  That’s right; those people who are taking away our Hummers and making us scrounge through our trash like starving rats in order to “Recycle”.  

 

     Case in point: I was returning from teaching a sniper school a week or so ago (you can still do that with a shoulder injury) when I stopped for lunch.  Having eaten junk food during the entire week of field instruction, my… er… well, let’s just say that the train was finally moving and it was full.  I went to the one and only restroom in the business; completed the task, and then went to flush.  

 

     There was a sign over the toilet that said, “Environmentally Friendly” and in small print added, “The least water per  flush” (not sure if that was a boast or a warning).  I pulled the lever; there was the sound like that of a mouse sneezing, and nothing much happened.  The contents of the bowl did not go down the drain as is usual.  If anything, the “flush” (if you could call it that) just made it angry.  Then there was a knock at the door, the only other customer in the place wanted in.  I pulled the lever again; nothing happened.  Evidently the thing had to recharge; and there I was, in this bathroom pushing the lever like I was trying to start a Sopwith Camel.  I ended up running the sink for about 5 minutes until the toilet had enough pressure to make another attempt.  I washed my hands and ran out without looking at the result.  

 

     I have found the reason behind all the violence associated with eco-terrorism: all of the hemp-wearing granola-crunchers installed these things in their apartments… it would make me want to blow up something as well.  

17 comments:

psychfun said...

Ha! I think the secret is in the granola...HA! I'm laughing too hard & too chicken to spell it all out!

reconcilinglife said...

That had to be a real crappy day for ya...hardee harr. LOL....Have a great day. Thanks for the giggle. Bam
http://journals.aol.com/reconcilinglife/reconciling-life/




pharmolo said...

Hope the next user of the lavvy wasn't poo-pooing over what you left behind...

screaminremo303 said...

Our municipal buildings have those auto-flush things activated by a motion sensor in the wall behind the toilet/urinal. It's handy, except when you have multiple TP tactical reloads on the job. The damn thing probably flushes 7-8 times before you ever finish, wasting more water than the regular loo. Several of them have extra high pressure too, so you get an incidental spritz.

It's rather refreshing.

dwhee70041 said...

Dave,  You make a good point.  I live in the "green" city of Boulder, Colorado.  I have been living with "enviornmentaly friendly" neighbors for over 10 years.  There are long lines at the recycling center on Saturday and Sunday.  They even had to break up a fight over a parking space!  LOL  No offence taken over the "potty humor".
David

susanebunn said...

In the UK, I can truthfully say that our loos run like gangbusters and nobody but NOBODY is going to fool with them!  Also, the oceans and streams are extremely clean and much nicer than any I've seen in the USA.  If this island nation can do it with no enviro-friendly toilets, so can the good ol' USA.  Boo to the frustrated old hippies!

Susie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/susanebunn/ItAllStartsAfter50/

suzypwr said...

Honestly, I don't see how 16 incomplete flushes is an improvement over one that works. The last I knew, Canada still sold "real" toilets, and I am about to go get me some.

onestrangecat said...

even home toilets have the new low flow thing. hate them.  luckily I bought an older house that still has an old toilet.  one flush works great.  other places are using more water to do the same thing.  they just haven't looked at it that way yet.

Kathy

ladeeoftheworld said...

It's criminal, I tell you.  Save water anywhere you want, just not the toilets.

I'm laughing imagining you fleeing the scene!

penniepooh said...

Gee, the first entry I`ve read in your journal in ages and it had to be about.....er....this!
lol
Penny

rebuketheworld said...

Yes times are declining...lol....I would have cracked up...because who hasnt been there..lol..whats worst is hitting the toilet and finding out it doesnt flush...everyone blames it on the other guy..me too..lol...Left you my tacky article below..trashy works..lol  -Raven


http://journals.aol.com/rebuketheworld/RebukeTheWorld/entries/2006/07/18/comic-relief-a-tacky-tasteless-tribute-for-ewe-gross-me-out-humor/1423

dragoneyes1164 said...

I like potty humor! And I probably would of walk out of the bathroom, like "It wasnt me who pooed in the toliet and left it!" only I would know the real truth... LOL....:)

bgilmore725 said...

I hate it when that happens! Bea

lifesabench6 said...

Dave, I really hate when that happens!!! Carolyn

lanurseprn said...

LOL this is my first time visiting in a LONG time....and you write about this!  Too funny!  At least I know I'm not the only one this happens to!  
Pam

shayshaydc said...

Hummmmmmmm..... how does one comment after that?????????? http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

gehi6 said...

Well, this is a pretty funny entry.  My only complaint is that you don't write more.  Well, you gotta be busy or something.  We will have to take what we can get.    Gerry