May 25, 2006

Viva el Presidente!

          As you know, yesterday, Mexican president Vicente Fox came to our fair city.  Doc and I were the designated counter-snipers in the apple orchard where el Presidente spoke to a crowd of adoring (carefully screened and selected) fans.  Before we took off to the location, I got a latte' and bought Doc what he wanted- a green tea.  I was hoping that no one saw me get the tea; I mean, come on... lattes are liberal enough... throw in a green tea and people will think I voted for Dean.  Drinks in hand, we went to our site. 

          Doc and I arrived and set out to check in with the Secret Service agent in charge.  Afterwards, Doc walked back to a pile of bins and retrieved his green tea from behind a box where he had stashed it before meeting the agent.  I guess Doc thought he would be put on their "No-Fly Watch List" if discovered drinking green tea by the Secret Service during a Republican administration.  Green tea in hand, we then tackled the problem of how to get up onto the 38-foot warehouse roof which overlooked the orchards and a podium where Presidente Fox and a few dignitaries (including Washington Governor Chrissy G.) would speak. 

          The warehouse had a smaller building on one side, so we decided to get onto the small roof, then from there use another ladder to get onto the main roof.  We called the local (and remained unnamed) fire department, who came and set up the ladders for us.  We then packed all our stuff onto the roof; rifles, binoculars, lunch boxes... then climbed up for the long sentry duty.  While on the roof, we entertained ourselves by laser ranging the distances to ground squirrels that popped out onto rocks between 78.7 and 542.5 yards away.  We also wiled away some time by throwing hunks of tar down onto the reaction force car (the reaction force is a marked police Tahoe with four fellow SWAT guys; all geared up and ready to attack the forces of Al-Qaida, Communists, or green tea-drinking Dean supporters); they are supposed to stay out of sight and not bring any attention to themselves, which makes them the perfect tar-ball target. 

          Once the caravan arrived, Presidente Fox was supposed to walk over to a guy on a ladder pruning a tree, demonstrating the sort of jobs "guest workers" do in the U.S. of A.  The only problem is that they stuck this poor slob out there about three hours before Senior Fox arrived, and did not tell him when Fox was coming.  Every time a car would crest the hill, the worker would start pruning.  By the time Fox (followed by secret security, media and sycophants) arrived, el Presidente ended up looking at a tree which now only had the trunk and 1/2 a branch.  This was followed by a speech and the usual hand shaking and picture taking.

          After all the important people had left, we started taking down our equipment.  We had most of our stuff, including Doc's $7000.00 sniper rifle on the lower roof when the fire guys arrived to get their ladders.  Two of them climbed up to the lower roof, and walked over to the second ladder.  One of the fire dudes walked right into Doc's rifle and tripped over it, kicking it about three feet over the roof.  I'm sure the only reason the guy did not fly off the roof is 'cause there were still several media outlets there, and Doc is camera shy. 

          Most everything turned out OK;  the commies did not attack, Doc's rifle is fine and el presidente did not see Doc drinking green tea.  That last one is the one that had me worried; a foreign leader seeing highly trained American security forces, sipping green tea, will likely see us as an easy target for invasion; perhaps they already do.

http://www.yakimaherald.com/page/dis/286173373891053

11 comments:

psychfun said...

Sounds so exciting! HA! Hey...way to go Doc drinking Green Tea! :-)

Sounds more exciting though than Bush's speech with Tony Blair tonight! Ugh! It was actually hysterical but in a pathetic way. Did you hear it? HA! He just makes himself look worse & worse each time he opens his mouth. He is just an idiot for taking your guys overtime away!

mllevl said...

Good for Doc to drink green tea when and wherever he wants.  I hate the stuff personally but respect a guy who cares nought for what anyone thinks!(Hmmm, well ..almost )...bet the poor fireman who kicked the rifle over thinks differently!!    Eve

dwhee70041 said...

Dave, I really enjoyed this post.  Thanks again.  David

lanurseprn said...

Love your journal.  Really laughed at this entry!  
Pam

tpiez4me said...

You are just too much....keeps me laughing at the mental pics I have while reading this!  Have a great weekend!
Sharon - http://journals.aol.com/tpiez4me/CoastalComfort

bgilmore725 said...

My day is complete! I think there's a tv drama/comedy idea brewing here. a show about the force of men behind security for visiting dignitaries, and all the other assignments you are given... you could write their scripts, describe the scenarios, make some up, cast the characters, the dialogue... I'd watch it! It's like "Rescue Me!" the show about a crew of NYC firefighters... I love that show. A look behind the scenes of the firefighters, their individual lives, their foibles, conquests, loves, and their fears. Also, their faith is challenged, and often strengthened despite and because of their experiences and relationships with each other, their families, friends, and strangers. Serious, poignant, heavily dosed with irony and humor. Above all, entertaining. Yeah, your stories are like that. bea

jevanslink said...

Drinking green tea, tossing tarballs, laser ranging the distance to ground squirrels -- I can't wait to see the next SWAT recruiting poster.   Mrs. L

screaminremo303 said...

It's nice to know my FD isn't the only designated evidence/equipment destruction unit around. They seem to save their best work for cutting off the clothes of any woman holding a high pair. Who knew they were that much into poker?

jeannieclaire said...

Hi there!  Thanks for your kind comments on my AOL Journal.  I have enjoyed reading your journal as well.  You have a great journal here!  I don't how I possible inadvertently left you off of my top picks list.  Have a delightful day!

mosie1944 said...

Are you on vacation, or what?  It's been too long since you've posted!

firestormkids04 said...

Stopped by from Mosie's journal.  Read until the kids got too crazy in the other room - I was afraid they'd break the beds or something.  Thanks for sharing your life.  Blessings, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere