Jun 24, 2006

Where Have All The Bodies Gone?

     A very frustrating week; and by golly it had all the signs of being a fun one. 


     It started out with detective Schuk getting some info on an old missing persons case.  The info was that some nut strangled the missing woman (a prostitute and meth user), then buried her in his back yard.  The guy happened to be in the city jail on unrelated traffic charges, so he was convenient to interview.  He would not admit to killing the hooker, but he did tell us that he sometimes did “Bad things.” 


     The reason he does bad things sometimes is because he has 4 women’s voices in his head telling him what to do.  The voices are Alice, Carol, Gwen and the real troublemaker, Sally.  Sally once told him to break out a window and crawl into it, it happened to be the front window of a local jailer’s home.  I asked him if Sally ever regrets doing bad things, he said, “Sally didn’t get her face beat in by breaking into the house, I did.” 


     He told me the reason he has this entire mental problem is because back in 1976 he smoked some marijuana.  I guess the U.S. Government was right when it produced the film “Refer Madness.”  I think he was good for the hooker’s death. 


     A look at his yard showed a “mound and depression” consistent with a human burial.  While Detective Schuk got the warrant to dig up the guy’s yard, I got another call of a “bad smell” and some clothing items found near one of the city’s greenway paths. 


     I went to check that out and found the area where the clothing items were found.  There was no mass of blow flys, and no huge population of magpies around, but there was a bad smell.  I followed the bad smell to where it seemed to be coming from, a pile of wood behind some thick cottonwood trees.  I could see there was some more clothing under and in-between some of the log piles, so I reached down to grab the clothing.  Now I had not brought any latex gloves with me; but I thought, if it was a dead body, I’ll just have the crime scene response people bring some.  So I grabbed the shirt with my bare hands… big mistake.  There was no dead body.  There was just some assorted clothing that bums were receiving from a local rescue mission nearby to use as toilet paper.  The log pile made a convenient commode.  The smell was not that of a dead body but rather… well… poop.


     I was not very upbeat as I returned to the station.  We got the warrant and several of us set off for the possible grave.  We dug for 5 hours and came up with nothing except some exceptionally large earthworms.  Detective Schuk did get attacked by a momma cat while we searched the house; everyone in the entire department heard the story of the ferocious animal that left two puncture marks on his left hand, I think he’s bucking for some medical leave time. 


     Me, I just can’t seem to find any bodies. 


memes121 said...

Don't give up! I'm sure you'll find a nice dead body soon! I can't believe I just said that.

bamawmn46 said...

I bet you'll always have some gloves with you from now on!!  LOL

ladeeoftheworld said...

40% of all people incarcerated in the US are profoundly mentally ill.  Many of my patients have killed people, because the "voices told me too".  It's a scary thought when you think of all the people you are dealing with daily.

On another note......crazy people poke out their own eyes on a regular basis.  What is that all about?  Just some things to think about.

Wishing you a dead body on Monday morning!!!   LOL.........

sunnyside46 said...

well gotta love you....

tpiez4me said...

I was wondering just this week "now where is Dave?" and lo and behold you appear!  Thank you for this very entertaining entry....we call those clothes "bushman" clothes around here, because one time at a job (plumber) my DH had to "use" a bush then "use" his undies to clean up.  He prompty discarded them into a trash recepticle though!  Imagine the homeowners surprise!
Sally sounds like a naughty lady!!!  Better tell criminal to write her off LOL!!!
Sharon – http://journals.aol.com/tpiez4me/CoastalComfort

screaminremo303 said...

Do bums shit in the woods?

"Here's hoping each new week brings you the mutilated corpse you so richly deserve"

I bet ya never see THAT ONE on a Hallmark card.

mllevl said...

hahaha you want to come dig my garden?  Eve

emabecmar said...

Philadelphia is full of dead bodies. Gunshots, stabbings, missing kids, you name it we got it. Enjoyed the entry though.

whatafinegrl said...

Nothin worse than mistaking clothes for toliet paper. Sadly enough, I have been there too LOL
Hope you get a break in the case

shayshaydc said...

Hey come to Greer... you will find plenty of bodies... althought they are not dead but very stupid and probably should be dead!!!! Shouldn't stupidity be painful????????? http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic

psychfun said...

Oh man I've been way too busy with my summer students & missing out on the laughs from you! I hope detective Schuk went on some antibiotics if it broke skin! Cat bites are nasty! My own cat hammered down on me when my vet gave him a shot right in a nerve! Ugh! Well, I pushed my cat so he wouldn't bite the vet & he then turned toward me & got me. Shit, my physics teacher is haunting me now telling me I would need to know tragectories someday! HA! You know I don't have a whole lot of dead bodies in my class usually (of course I'm a very interesting prof! Ha!) but occasionally I do & I'd be happy to give you a jingle & you can come get them! HA! With how some of them party I'm surprised they are not dead!