May 20, 2006

Training Day

          Today was our monthly training day for detectives and the Gang squad.  Specifically, we had firearms and defensive tactics training.  I’m sure that most of you will understand “firearms,” however “defensive tactics” may be a bit obscure.  Defensive tactics is, quite frankly, fighting.  It does seem much kinder and gentler to say, “I’m going to defensive tactics training,” rather than, “I’m going to learn how to beat the crap out of criminals.”  When you are at court defending yourself for having had to break, say, someone’s ribs because they took a swing at you, you just look at the jury with big, doe eyes and say apologetically, “I had to use defensive tactics,” i.e. the other guy used offensive tactics.  Granted, DT is fighting in such a way as to lessen the chance of injury to a suspect or yourself. 

          Anyway, I first went to the firearms portion.  Our range is actually on a nearby military base; it is pretty desolate there and today it was hot (97 F was the high).  I did say it was desolate, but there was still some interesting wildlife that wandered in.  Krycky!  Would you look at the size of this ripper!

Then Firearms Instructor, Officer Mike, showed us the specific drill we were going to shoot today.  We call Mike "The Troll", because he is only about 4 feet tall, eats rocks, and lives under a bridge.  Right now I think he is aiming at my kneecaps.

Here we have Officer Miller (aka Paris Hilton) taking a few pointers from the Range Master, Rod "Josie Wales" Y. 

The Gang Squad posed for a photo.  Gang Squad... isn't that a syntactical redundancy?  Sort of like, "Group Club" or "Attorney Misconduct." 

Here is detective Bru; wearing some hat he bought down in Mexico on a drunken binge.  He has been hammered with a bunch of embezzlement cases this month; he is getting so tired of the embezzlers, I think he is passing around an initiative to subject them to the death penalty.

By the way, all that Diet Pepsi I drink on the range made my teeth float, got to run to the military-style latrine quansit hut. 

Well... maybe I could hold it till I got back to the next course of instruction. I think that was a dead mouse in all that, er, well... liquid. 

So- after firearms, we all went off to a boxing club in town.  There we met up (after a trip to the restroom) with DT instructor Sgt Chad.  Here is Chad being comforted by Detective Mendoza.  I think Chad just learned that there we be no goulash for dinner; that's right, Chad is one of those Nordic guys who like to compete in various competitions like, how many Volkswagons can you lift and toss through 3rd story windows, or who is fastest at removing the opponents organs while smashing in their face in a cage match.  During lunch Chad asked if he could show me this "Reallly cool medicine ball workout".  15 minutes later my triceps were both crying for mommy.  Lesson learned: Don't think you can out-workout a guy who takes voice lessons to actually sound like Governer Arnold.

Who says cops are not sensitive? 

Finally, here are Officers Paris and Lee wrestling on the ground in a blatant violation of the department's sexual harassment policy. 

Hey Remo... she's got that left elbow a bit low for the LVNR, eh?  Lee seems to like it, though.

See you all later; thanks for looking.



screaminremo303 said...

I don't know about her elbow position, but I like the way the cut of her BDU's brings out the color in her eyes. That's quite the thigh-rig she's got going there. The holsters' pretty neat too.

You guys are lucky. We have to let our suspects keep their shoes on when we 'rassle them.

psychfun said...

97! Hey send some of that heat to the Midwest...only 73 here now!

Hey you guys need to come train the Cubs & Sox! Did you see the bench clear! Bartlett took a swat at Pierzynski!

Love the "Attorney Misconduct"!

Hey, maybe that Chicago Cop needs some of this Defensive training. Ended up shooting some guy because he was getting beaten up after they were both in a doubt taking cheap shots about their haircuts!

Ick! Snakes! I had a roommate that had a huge out with 2 20lb dumbbells onto of the screen on the tank. UGH!

Ya, you guys look like quite a fearful gang? NOT! But then you are all smiling soooo...

Ya, finally some pix of the debonair guys! ;-)

What are you doing drinking pop in the heat for anyway! WATER!!!!

You guys actually have Sexual Harassment laws? ;-)

myheartsaysso2 said...

This is a fun journal to read.. I find it interesting.. :) Mel

tpiez4me said...

You guys have way to much fun defending the american public!  Loved the pictures, rambo, paris and all!  That first one though sent me chillin...I hate snsnsnsnsnsnsnakes.
Sharon –

bgilmore725 said...

Nasty latrine... could have left that one out! I enjoy reading your technical terms and meeting your comrades in arms. I found a snake today... bigger than your snake! Called my husband at work. He asked me if the eyes were slitted or round. TOld him I couldn't get close enough to see. Didn't want to get close enough to see! It was big, that's all I cared to know, and I took its picture so I could show it to him when he got home from work tonight. May put it in my blog, if it's blog-worthy. Bea

lanurseprn said...

This entry was good....'cept the latrine!  UGH!  Could've done without that visual.  Discusting! LOL!  
Looks like you guys have so much fun!  And you get PAID for it, too!  <smile>
Enjoy your weekend!

mllevl said...

Well with all the hugging and wrestling and general clooose contact ,you guys are sure having fun over there! Det Mendoza looks like he is smoochy dancing with the other guy. Good pics but you should have left out the yucky loo...were you taking the P or what?  Eve

bgilmore725 said...

Hey DAve! Thanks again for helping me identify the snake my dog found today. I posted an entry with pictures, and left a link to this entry because I mentioned that you identified the snake for me. When Steve got home, he found another snake just like it, so apparently we had at least two displaced by the pond removal. I knew some of the critters would not be too happy about filling in the pond.   Bea

ladeeoftheworld said...

If I'm ever on your jury I'll always approve of DT's!

shayshaydc said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwe... I would have gone and peed somewhere else to!!!! Good pictures!!!!