May 13, 2006

Wigs and Arabs

     Yesterday my kid told me that he needed a wig for a production he is doing in his TV/Video class.  He told me, “Dad, what happened to the wig you had?”  Good question... I don’t remember.  However I do remember when I got it. 

 

     In 1992 I was placed on the department’s SCAT unit.  SCAT stands for Street Crime Abatement Team; however here is the Webster’s definition:

SCAT: Function: noun.  Etymology: perhaps from Greek skat-, skOr.  Excrement: an animal fecal dropping.

Anyway, there I was with the high-speed, low drag members of the department, looking to prove myself.  My first attempts at undercover were chronicled in “Just No Good With Hookers” found here:

 

http://journals.aol.com/krisndave83/DeadInvestigations/entries/784 

 

     After that difficulty, I tried the narcotic buy thing.  First I went to the Salvation Army and found a long, black wig that I trimmed to a “Joe Dirt” mullet.  Then I threw on a leather jacket and some smelly jeans.  On my very first try, I walked to the front of a tavern, known for drug sales.  I was approached byan older man, who asked me something I couldn't understand.  He kept repeating his words and I kept saying, “What?”  He started to get mad at me, upset that I did not understand him.  He rolled his eyes, slowed his speech, as if he was speaking to a third-grader, and I finally understood him to be saying, “Do- you- want- coke?” 

 

     I had trouble understanding him because it turned out that the guy was a Turkish national.  Come to think of it, this could lead to some vacation time!  Check it out- my first undercover drug buy is being set up by a Muslim from Istanbul!  Maybe Homeland Security will want to fly me to Washington DC to debrief me on the incident; they could set me up at the Howard Johnsons next to the White House; I really would like to tour the place.  Anyway, once we overcame the language barrier, he told me to wait.  After a moment, a tough-looking guy with tattoos on his neck came out and asked me if I was the one who wanted coke.  I told him I was, and that I wanted $20 worth.  He asked me, “Are you a cop?”  I told him no, I was not a cop.  He then relaxed, got a sneer on his face, and told me that it was lucky I was not a cop, because he would take his knife and cut me deep, ‘cause that is what he does to cops, blah, blah, blah.  All the time he was talking, he was pouring out about a gram of white powder into a folded piece of paper. 

 

     He handed me the cocaine.  I gave him a twenty dollar bill, smiled and said, “Police, you’re under arrest!”  I grabbed one of his arms as his sneer melted into a panicked expression, and he yelled out a little “aaaaahhh!”  I ended up pulling his jacket off as he tried to run away, but just as he turned to run, my back-up, Officer Garza, arrived.  We both took him to the sidewalk and cuffed him.  A bit of a crowd had formed around us (cheap entertainment for the winos), and as I scanned the crowd, there was the Turkish guy, just standing there watching!  I had thought for sure he would have run off when the fight was on, but he didn’t.  I grabbed him and told him he was under arrest as well.  Later at the trial for conspiracy to sell narcotics, he almost got off, because his defense attorney argued that he did not speak English well enough to be a drug front-man.  He may not have spoken English well, but he was persistent, and found guilty. 

12 comments:

lanurseprn said...

Great story!!  I could NEVER do your job!  I'd be scared to death!                Pamela

ally123130585918 said...

That was a brilliant outcome to that little episode ~ couldn't speak English well enough lol Ally

pminthepm said...

Webster's definition #4: SCAT; SCATTED; SCATTING (1935): to improvise nonsense syllables to an instrumental accompaniment.  
Could it be your Turkish national was also a scatman scatting sans instrumental accompaniment?

suzypwr said...

Somehow I expected you to end up with 60 glasses of diet soda. Instead, you had a lot more fun!

mllevl said...

I  thought you weer going to end up with a Pepsi.....!!  Never a dull moment in your job .  Eve

ladeeoftheworld said...

So I guess the word on the blog-street is that you are looking for a more aggressive female fan base.  My, my. I wonder what we can do about that.........hmmm....
let me think about this..................

krisndave83 said...

oh no... this is how the nasty rumors start.  I was making an OBSERVATION, not a request!

screaminremo303 said...

Eye am much pleased to hear of your much American male stories of being brave. I am trying to get to America for to be a model or movie star like Britney Spears. I can send quickly many photos of me and friends if you will much pay dollars to help us. Ask for Svetlana.

Shoot. I'm no good at this undercover stuff. Maybe I need the mullet.

tpiez4me said...

Well, it wasn't BC Powder that the Turk was selling now was it....can't believe he forgot to "scat" when the cops showed up.  Bet he ended up with some scat of his own LOL!!!!  I love your copper stories!
Sharon - http://journals.aol.com/tpiez4me/CoastalComfort

psychfun said...

Hey if there is an international language of love I would think it would work just as well for crime! HA! Did they get anything for threatening to kill a cop?

Man you are perfect for that job...less than 5 min & you find trouble...makes one wonder about all the mothers saying that to their kids now! HA!

You can't stay at the HJ...that is for all the politicians girlfriends! Of course you may be able to do a big sting there & make a few more points!

lifes2odd said...

What I want to know is did you ever find the wig for the kid?
Martha

shayshaydc said...

I don't think I would have let anyone know about the "animal fecal dropping"..... it gives a bad impression!!!!! LOL.... good entry!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)