Apr 23, 2006

Foot in Mouth

A while back I stopped at home for lunch. As I walked in the front door, my wife zipped passed me, telling me she had to go to the store and pick something up.  I gave her a quick kiss and off she went, while I went to look for something to eat.  By the time I had made it to the refrigerator, and started to drink straight from the milk carton (my wife was gone, remember?), I heard a loud "screeeetch" followed by a crash.  I wiped off the milk moustache and ran outside; there I saw my wife's car, bashed in the middle, obviously having just pulled out of my driveway, right in from of someone driving down the road. 

I got into my police car and positioned it to block traffic, then called for a traffic car.  While we waited, I did my best to comfort my wife, who was crying and very upset that she had just caused an accident.  Everyone was ok, the damage had not been that great, but my wife felt as if she were the captain of the Titanic and the Exxon Valdez all rolled into one. 

Traffic Officer Rick showed up, looked at the obvious indicators of fault, saw my wife's car and her (from behind) sobbing in the driver's seat.  He walked up to me, pointed to my wife and whispered into my ear,

"Another stupid woman driving with her head up her ass." 

Just then my wife came out of the car and said to me,

"Honey, will he need to see all the paperwork?" 

Officer Rick's face went white, then red, his jaw opened and shut a few times, then started stammering something that went like,

"Wi-wi-wi-wife? I-I-I-I sss sor sor sorry D-D-D-Dave I-I-I didn't kn-kn-know." 

Having been an experienced veteran at the foot in mouth thing, I smiled at Officer Rick, held up my hand and said,

"It's ok."

I was just glad it wasn't me.... that time.


psychfun said...

That is pretty funny! It is quite scary though that he admits to thinking that way though. I mean now what kind of bias does he have each time he sees a female driver? Not good! Reminding me of the Crash movie! Ugh! Like there are no male drivers who could be described that way...though I wouldn't describe anyone that way but. Now which one was officer Rick...I hope not that grey debonair one! ;-)

krisndave83 said...

No, he was not in the photos.  I think that the Good Lord brings these events into our lives so that the bad thoughts (i.e. bias against women drivers) can be excized with a swift boot to the rear.


mllevl said...

Your heart must have been in your mouth when you first saw the accident,  thank heavens no-one was hurt.!!   ALMOST feel sorry for Rick  ..maybe he will have learnt something from it..like engaging his brain before he opens his mouth.  Eve

tpiez4me said...

Oh how classic......glad she wasn't hurt.  Hope you milked the officer and made him "give you 20"!!!!
Sharon - http://journals.aol.com/tpiez4me/CoastalComfort

screaminremo303 said...

Be there. Done that. Many more times than I care to admit.

You didn't tell her about it, did ya?

dawngepfer said...

You crack me up.  I'm just a-gigglin' over here.

ladeeoftheworld said...

Poor Officer Rick..............lol!   He'll never live it down.

mindercella33 said...

Geez, glad your wife is okay. Officer Rick is going to be looking away every time you cross paths for a while. maybe he will think and then speak next time,lol

mumma4evr said...

LOL silly Officer Rick!!!

ally123130585918 said...

Poor Officer Rick ~ he truly did put his foot in his mouth ~ glad you were so understanding ~ wonder what he would have said had it been you ~ Ally

suzypwr said...

No blood was shed, no shots were fired, and maybe, just maybe, Officer Rick will get his head out of his ass. All was OK in the end. So to speak.

lanurseprn said...

This is such a FUNNY story!!!  I died laughing!

jeanno43 said...

Lol at Officer Rick.  Found your journal by way of Ally. Feel free to visit me if you would care to.


shayshaydc said...

Nothing quite as tasty as a foot in the mouth!!!! LOL... Poor officer Rick!!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic