Mar 10, 2006

Olympic Hurling

          Just as I was pulling up to a partner's traffic stop late one night, the driver of the stopped car jumped out and took off running.  Officer Rey, who had stopped the car,  being of the rookie sort, jumped out of his car and took off running after the sprinting kid. 

          Now myself, being a bit wiser (and not wanting to spill my coffee) placed my car in gear and drove after the running pair.  The chase wound through a local park; all I had to do was avoid the swing sets, merry-go-rounds and meth addicts sleeping on the grass.  After about 300 yards, both running man and Officer Rey had slowed to a pace that would not harm my bum knee (or ego), so I stopped the car, put my coffee down, and trudged after bad guy.  It was pretty easy; I fast-walked up behind him and gave him a slight nudge to the ground.  Officer Rey was right there, but as soon as the handcuffs were on, he walked away suddenly. 

          As I walked back to my car, the suspect started to throw up all over.  That's something they don't tell you about in the police employment brochures, having to hold some criminal's hair while he pukes.  Well, it turns out that this guy ran because he had just done a drive-by shooting; we found a gun in the passenger seat. 

          At the subsequent trial, the guy's defense was that he was far too drunk to have manipulated a handgun (don't laugh... I've heard sillier ones); and proof of that intoxication was my testimony that he threw up all over... ergo he was very drunk.  Officer Rey then leaned over with a sly smile and whispered something into the ear of the district attorney.  On cross examination, the DA asked me,

"Officer, was anyone else sick that evening?" 

My answer was,

"Yes, Officer Rey puked his guts up after the run as well" (which is why he made his quick exit, to find a suitable garbage can). 

Guilty.

11 comments:

dwhee70041 said...

Dave, Do you think it's time to apply at the FBI?  Most white collar criminals don't sprint away.  I know of a lady that owned a barber college in San Juan, PR.  It was a 144 ft. square building with 268 students enrolled.  Her ploy, she would read the SanJuan newspaper and enroll (under the GI bill) every person who was released from the Army, Navy, etc.  Guilty!  David

ally123130585918 said...

I felt so sorry for Officer Rey, It was seeing the Man throw up caused him to throw up ~ nothing to do with the running ~ loved your ride through the park glad you missed those men sleeping it off on the grass ~ that was a neat bit of driving ~ wonder if you could manage what a young Lady did here in England yesterday ~ She was caught on Camera applying her make~up  ~ Mirror in one hand Lipstick in the other ~ No hands on the steering wheel ~ now that's what I call good driving lol ~ she did get fined £50 ~ and had to pay costs ~ Ally
http://journals.aol.co.uk/ally123130585918/Lifewithally

mumma4evr said...

sounds like my house this week!!!  eww!!!  puke city withthe 10 yo!
Becky

mllevl said...

Well done Officer Rey who clearly wasn't too "macho" to mind the world knowing he vomited too.  Well done to you too for being wordly wise and taking the leisurely route to snap on the cuffs.  Eve

suzypwr said...

If you were both out of breath, who would read the charmer his rights? Someone had to plan ahead. You also didn't have to run a few miles back to the car, since you drove it right up. Good job!

jevanslink said...

Those little boxes of Cottonelle wet wipes are really handy for puke spots.  I'm here to help.  Mrs. L

ladeeoftheworld said...

I love it......cops are human beans too....lol.  You know, you never think about cops throwing up.  Doctors and nurses gag too.  We just hide it better I think.

bamawmn46 said...

You gotta love it....  some people are just to stupid for their own good.....
Jackie

shayshaydc said...

Some how I can picture you calmly putting your coffee down and driving through the park!!!! LOL.. I guess someone has to do it!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

psychfun said...

Too funny! Missing the addicts! HA! Did you ask Officer Rey if he wanted to go on the merrigoround after you cuffed the guy! HA!

pennietoonz said...

Now this kind of stuff I NEVER see on Dog the Bounty Hunter!!
:0)
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace