Mar 8, 2006

Family Tree

          Let me share with you one of the funniest lines I have ever heard.  This line tickles me every time I recall it being spoken.  First, some background: a fellow police officer and I responded to a disturbance in one of the humbler parts of town.  This was the sort of neighborhood where cars on blocks and mangy hound dogs were everywhere; where I always expected to see Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty floating by on a canoe. 

          We arrived and saw a female, white shirt 2 sizes too small, with pink polyester highwater pants and no shoes, screaming about how her family was trying to kill her.  I did the best I could to calm her down, all she did was cuss me out and tell me that she hated "Pigs."  Judging how much pressure she was putting on those pink stretch pants and tee shirt, it was clear that she was not truthful, but actually loved pork products. 

          An old lady finally told her to get her rear end back in the house; which she and her rear eventually did.  The lady then came up to me and said (in that wonderful drawl that lets everyone know that she watches Nascar 24-7) that thing that makes me snicker even now:

"Officer, the trouble with her is, she's ma granddaughter AND ma niece!"

          I hope it made you laugh half as much as it did me.

......Dave

 

14 comments:

mosie1944 said...

That's great!

dwhee70041 said...

Dave, that is definately one of the better one's I've heard.  Sounds like some of my neighbors.  Please read my post today, you will see what I mean.  David

shayshaydc said...

Did you find that female in Sunnyside in Greer, SC? Sure sounds like it!!! LOL........ http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

ladeeoftheworld said...

Yup.......I reckon Grandma was right about that one............lol.........

suzypwr said...

LMAO!

lacaza3 said...

ok was she serious and if she was who is her daddy I'm so confused
Donna In TEXAS

lv2trnscrb said...

LOL; seems like the nut didn't fall too far from the (family) tree. You could write a book with these stories.

betty

whatafinegrl said...

Yeah I would have to say that is the trouble. LMAO!Ahhh good old intertwinding branches... LOL
Brandie

ally123130585918 said...

Oh Dave what had Grandma been playing at  ~ lol  ~  Ally

demandnlilchit said...

I would have had to responded with "Is that all??" lol but then again I'm a lil on the warped side of the street! lol lol lol

krspkrmmom said...

I'm laughing and shaking my head in confusion at the same time.  Who's her mom and dad??  I guess they played "the game the whole family can play"--incest...lol.

Annie =)

mumma4evr said...

she must be related to the brotherly cousins!
Becky

njmom72 said...

Now my head hurts trying to figure out who her parents are to the grandmother....hilarious!

psychfun said...

OH BOY! That might explain quite a bit! This is why I think you guys deserve Christmas presents year round! :-)