Let me share with you one of the funniest lines I have ever heard. This line tickles me every time I recall it being spoken. First, some background: a fellow police officer and I responded to a disturbance in one of the humbler parts of town. This was the sort of neighborhood where cars on blocks and mangy hound dogs were everywhere; where I always expected to see Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty floating by on a canoe.
We arrived and saw a female, white shirt 2 sizes too small, with pink polyester highwater pants and no shoes, screaming about how her family was trying to kill her. I did the best I could to calm her down, all she did was cuss me out and tell me that she hated "Pigs." Judging how much pressure she was putting on those pink stretch pants and tee shirt, it was clear that she was not truthful, but actually loved pork products.
An old lady finally told her to get her rear end back in the house; which she and her rear eventually did. The lady then came up to me and said (in that wonderful drawl that lets everyone know that she watches Nascar 24-7) that thing that makes me snicker even now:
"Officer, the trouble with her is, she's ma granddaughter AND ma niece!"
I hope it made you laugh half as much as it did me.