Jun 25, 2010

Follow the Flies

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk doing an in-car video storyboard for a car chase that ended up with two people (innocent drivers) dead. I play the in car video and take stills, then circle or point out stuff that a potential jury may otherwise miss; for instance: in every frame which shows the alleged suspect, I circle him and write in big red letters, with arrows and underlining "GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY... CONVICT NOW!" I feel that these features may assist juries in reaching a fair and impartial decision.

Well... enough about my fantasy life...

While at my desk, Sgt. H. called me and wanted me to come take a look at something they found in a garbage bag, it may be a (bum bum BUM!) dead body. Now, if youve read my stuff, you know that I get these pretty frequently, and don't get too excited about them, but I find just enough rotting human corpses to take every call seriously. So I called to Amber, the Evidence Tech and told her to get her camera... just in case it's missing Uncle Harry.

We arrive and meet Sgt. H, at the same time I get the SMELL. It's something dead. He points me over to a ballooning garbage bag, covered with Blowflies (Calliphoridae). The top has a couple wraps of intestine bulging out, and I know that the bag is going to have to be opened- by me.

I'll share a big secret with you all, I'm a wimp when it comes to smells. So I bought myself a "Putrification Filter mask" a while back, it's rubber, fits around the nose and mouth and has two white filters that stick out on either side; kind of makes me look like a fly. Anyway, I put the mask on and approach the bag with a knife and start poking, I can hear Amber's Nikon clicking away in the background. I cut it open and find wraps and wraps of intestine... pig intestine. Someone had one heck of a BBQ and didn't want to toss the guts into a proper garbage receptacle.

We got back to the division and everyone wanted to know what we found, so I just grabbed Amber's camera, took the memory card out and put it in my computer. I opened the pictures and saw nothing of the guts, just pictures of me wearing the silly mask. I asked Amber, "Why didn't you take any pictures of the guts?" "Because" she replied, "You said they weren't human, and that mask made you look so funny I needed to show people THAT."

No respect.

Photos to follow... I'm on vacation now.


Mrs. L said...

We want Amber's pictures!
We want Amber's pictures!
Show us Amber's pictures!
Show us Amber's pictures!
Dear Amber,
Here's my email address [no really, it is]:
Please send me the pictures you took of Detective Dave wearing his pig smell protector.
Thank you in advance.

Remo said...

No rest for the wicked. Or the crime-scene techs. I have some medical examiner staff on my list lately.

Payback is a bitch.

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Beat And Release said...

Hope you don't mind if I put up a post on this subject in order to establish a link to your blog in my sidebar. Great reading and I lived most of this for seventeen years before returning to the street.

You have been added. :)

LdyRoxx said...

I do so enjoy your Daily Grind!
Snickering all the way from NC!!